Hello 2013

HOLA! Haha. Ok I've been wanting to blog for a really long time but I've just been putting it off cause I lack time and energy and well I'm a lazy ass procrastinator hahaha.

I know it's kinda late but... MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR! :) LOL.

Sooo, I know a lotta people are wondering what's up with the US thing and stuff, but sadly all I can reveal is TIME is KEY.

Well school's just started and Sec 3 life's not really been doing good to my body clock. Not to mention the initial jetlag problem. :( However it did get better over time though. It's much better now. Yay lol. :) Sec 3's a really crucial year, and I'm taking my Chinese O's this year! Which means 2013 is no frikin joke haha. I just hope my mugger side knows that.

Today was the first 'official' day of school (the week before was counted as week 0?) and I'm not kidding when I say I'm already starting to feel the pressure. We've already got a good amount of homework and apparently there's this Chinese CA Compo Test thing next Wednesday. The 3rd week of school, really? I'll prolly flunk it hahaha, so I'm just gonna...hope for the best, but expect the worst HAHA.

LORD, SAVE US! Haha.

ANYWAY, new year; new resolutions! Here's mine:

1. KEEP FIT 

Haha ok, I'm not really a very sportsy person, besides Dance maybe hahaha, and I hate PE, so this is definitely number 1 on my list! I won't get fat and it helps in healthy living. :D LOL.

2. Be punctual (or early)

I realise in 2012 I've always been the later party, which is really bad. Sorry to the people who've waited for me for hours on end. :( I'll try better! Haha.

3. Learn to say NO.

In 2012, I'm constantly going out, lending money, etc. And I realise it's because I find it really hard to say no. This year, I can't really afford that, and it's a bad habit to have. I need to learn to say no. :(

That's prolly it for now. 3's enough, really. Resolutions are easy to make, but hard to live by. Haha.


Honestly, I'm really scared for this new year. Everything is just going really fast. Too fast. And I feel myself distancing from my friends. Especially me ex-classmates. Somehow, we all knew it would happen sometime, maybe we just weren't prepared for it, or we didn't expect it to be so soon.

Church life has gone by in a whoosh too. We're Con 3 now! Exciting? Yes. Nerve-wrecking? YES. What does it mean to be confirmed? And where do you go after that? I'm so afraid I'll screw up Confirmation, or I'm not ready for it. What happens when you're not ready? How do you know you are? There's just so much to learn about.

I remember once in mass, Father was talking about our Father. And he asked us, "Yes, you know everything about the Lord, but do you know Him?" which really scared me.

It's true. We learn and know so much about God from the bible, and from mass, but do we really know Him? We know He's loving, and kind. He is who He is. But who is He?

I've heard Confirmation year is also about finding ourselves and knowing who we truly are. At this age, who I am is a teenage girl struggling through school. But we all know we have more than an academic face to us. What is seen in school is limited. Sometimes, it's superficial. Who am I truly? I have no idea. Haha. But I've also heard that finding oneself comes from reflecting and soul-searching. Some take maybe a week? Others a month and some, a lifetime.

I want to know myself and I want to understand God. I want to know Him, but how can I know someone who I've never met, or seen? Faith.

Faith gives us strength and courage. It tells us that God is always there, even though He isn't. That there's the Holy Spirit within us, and that God will provide, because He loves us.

I can't wait for catechism to begin.

Sometimes, we judge people without knowing and sometimes, people judge us, upsetting us. Just know that in the end of the day, we all face one judge and only Him alone. Pay more attention to your Creator than your critics.

How you see the world is how the world is to you. See it dark and lonely, and you will be. See it enchanting, and discover so much. See it hopeful, and have wonder in your eyes. 

You don't have to wait for a new year to be a better person. Change starts now. Change begins with you. 

Somehow, I'm ready. And somehow, I'll get through this, with determination and Courage, with Hope and Love. With Faith. With God. Somehow, we'll do this.