Ok wow. Haha. I'm sorry I haven't been blogging aghh. I've been super busy I guess. I've got sooo much to do but there's really not much time left hmm. And well I've put this countdown clock on my blog to 11 Dec which is the day I'll be leaving for Orlando! *fireworks* Hahaha.
Ok well as many of you don't know I suppose (???), I'm going to Orlando for this.....competition? (???) Well it's performing, like singing, acting, modeling and dance which I absolutely love. (: I Love performing. I love the stage, the costume, singing, dancing, the spotlight. I love being on stage and giving it my all, knowing that in that moment, people are actually watching me or listening to me.
LOL ok enough of that for now...
Well these few days have been.....hectic really. I've had dance and choir but I've also been "partying", maybe a bit too much, these few days. Well it's either that or I've been experimenting with songs and stuff or just completely stoning and slacking. Haha. I really don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not productive, AT ALL. Aghh it sucks. ): Oh and I've been having really, really late nights and I've been sleeping in aghh it's all so horrible! My body clock's really, really screwed up right now. /: My mom went to Macau last Thursday for business and stuff so I'm hoping that when she gets back I'll become more productive. Yay hahaha.
There's just so much things to rant about. And there's sooo many things I cannot stand. I mean, we all try to be nice right? But sometimes it's just REALLY hard to keep your cool about some stuff or not get annoyed and someone. I try to be nice though, I REALLY DO. We all should, and make the world a better place and stuff.....YAY haha.
So as usual, drama and drama, and well mostly me over-thinking...
It sucks when you're so close to moving on from someone but then that one thing happens and you just don't let go. When you care so much for someone who couldn't care less for you. When you're so attached to someone who keeps a distance from you. The worst feeling in the world is falling for someone who's not there to catch you, and you know it but you let yourself fall anyway. It's like gravity, you just can't help it? But it happens anyway.
So guess what? I had this really, remarkable dream a few nights ago. No shit, it was about you. I don't even know why this happens. It was really, truly amazing. It just felt so real. And that's what I wanted so much for it to be. Real. I actually slept in to continue my dream. Ridiculous right? Hahaha.
So I woke up at 0800 with the dream fresh in my mind and I went back to sleep to continue the dream because it was so nice. I slept in all the way till 1200++ (?) waking up a few times along the way. And when I finally decided to wake up, I just felt so, so upset, because I knew the dream wasn't real and no matter how much I wanted it to be real, it wouldn't. It was a dream that I never wanted to end or wake up from. I guess that's the depressing part about nice dreams? Or it's just me being sadistic. Haha.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life, really. I'm not even living in the past, No. I'm living in my thoughts, and dreams. But well isn't it better to live there? Reality is such a harsh place, don't even talk about living it's hard enough to survive in reality.
Ok enough. Enough.
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