In the past 2 months, so much has changed. I've had a really low point this period of time, but I'm glad that's finally over and I'm feeling much better now… :)
Major events that've happened would include my big birthday surprise (!!!), my school days, my break-up (…yes I've decided to be very open about this), my March Holidays and my BIG BLESSING. LET US BEGIN.
{MY BIG BIRTHDAY SURPRISE}
I really have a lot to thank my mom for…this not only revolves around organising the whole surprise birthday little mermaid party thing for me (which I'm sure took LOADS of love & effort, thank you mommy), but also for her unconditional love. For bringing me into this world, for loving me regardless of my selfish self, for forgiving me time and time again, for trying her best to understand me, and give me the best she can…and of course for the blessings that I'm not even aware of.
Because this was before my actual day, I honestly DID NOT expect any celebration on the 27th. But being loving friends…they still bothered to buy a cake & balloon & I'm just so thankful to have such wonderful friends in my life.
Thank you Carri, RX, Karen, Gwy, Jas, Ash, Ee Wern, Cheng, Cheryl, Ray, Andrea, Carine, Jo, Athelia, ETC. for being such wonderful friends…always being there for me throughout the school year…listening to my rants, and for showering me with your love!!
{MY SCHOOL DAYS}
Tbh, school has been really, really exhausting. It's really draining. At the end of each day I feel I have no more to give. No more energy for anything, really. And I wake up the next morning just feeling more tired. On top of that, CA sucked. It doesn't help at all that your grades pull you down and make you feel like a failure. What do you do when your best just isn't good enough? On the bright side, I'm really glad that choir has been going really well recently! We're pumping up towards choir concert!!!
Mini advertisement here:
Date | Day: 28th April | Monday
Time: 7.30PM
Venue: SOTA Concert Hall
Tickets are selling at $15. If interested please contact me at 82014166. :)
Oh yes but please do come and support me and my choir it'll be worth it I swear!!!!! :)
{MY BREAK UP}
OK this is a pretty sensitive topic…I didn't want to blog about it at first but I've decided to because there are many things I wish to clear up?
When 2 people don't work out, it doesn't mean what they had wasn't real. There are many, many reasons why 2 people wouldn't work out with one another. Maybe they just aren't compatible? Maybe their characters clash? Maybe somewhere along the lines of time someone made a wrong move? Maybe time is the issue itself? As for Collin & I, we just didn't have mutual trust & communication.
I'm not saying a relationship has to be perfect, or that Collin & I didn't have good times. Every relationship is bound to have problems, and we did have happy moments. But Collin & I have inflicted so much hurt upon one another that it's become quite hard to mend. You see that's the thing about wounds. It may heal but it will always leave a scar.
And I guess it also has a lot to do with me. I'm not the kind of person who will sit and wait and see what happens. Let time heal my wounds? No, I'd rather not even let myself get hurt in the first place. So I guess that's what happened? I let go before getting hurt. This comes with not holding on too tight in the first place. I recognise that it's something not many people can relate to, but it's just in me to do so. It's something I've learnt to do from my past hurts.
This week has really been a blessing, though really unproductive. I would say I did nothing much but 'recuperate'. And it's honestly just what I needed. Some 'me' time, some time with God, some time with friends & family.
On top of Tramp Park with the girls, choir, dinner with some loving choir mates & seniors, I also managed to attend Healing Mass at CSC, which was really the highlight of my week. For the first time in a long time, I could finally feel my spiritual high again! Praise God!
{MY BIG BLESSING}
Towards the end of my relationship with Collin I really felt very low and upset, particularly with myself. But there've been many people who've been there for me; Jon Kaw, Aiden, Karen, Rui Xuan, Carri, Ee Wern, my mom… (many more!)
But there's someone I want to thank in particular and I think many of you can sort of guess that this person is Michael heheh. :B
I know this is definitely something many people can't understand & won't see eye to eye with me, but Michael's been a really huge blessing in my life. (Haha huge. Both in size & heart okay HEHE.) He's been there for me, tolerating my rants & imperfections, my horrid human nature…and everything else. He's someone who really shows his love more through actions than words. He makes time for me (hehe) & never fails to make me laugh & cheer me up!! He 'protects' me (HAHA that time after Maths tuition THANK YOU again btw) & buys me flowers!!! He compliments me (hehe) & tries his best to understand me, and accept me. He's also incredibly strong (HAHAHA) both physically & spiritually. Although he has his flaws of having such a bigass ego (sometimes) & being such a pig (!!!) (ok actually not really), he's still someone I don't regret getting to know. :}
And I thank The Lord for everything that's happened, for I know He has bigger plans for me. Keep me in your prayers…..God bless! :}
